Loosely Talking: Maastricht Syndrome

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about – Oscar Wilde. 

Hello, welcome back to our eighth edition of Loosely Talking, where we reflect on our lives between the cobblestones. We wanted to avoid this topic, but living in Maastricht, it’s impossible to ignore. 

Today, we’re talking about dating. More specifically, the syndrome that seems to have struck us all.

There must be something scientifically wrong with Maastricht. One would think that with the overabundance of hormones from a bunch of 20-something-year-old students, there would be a little more action. Plus, no parents to avoid while sneaking your late-night call. Despite this, you run the risk of bumping into your Saturday hookup at ICL or having them as your discussion leader.  Which is worse, parents or ICL? 

We couldn't help but wonder, why in a city with as many cobblestones as there are potential flings, are they so hard to attain?  

Well, there is a theory for this that you, dear readers, have most likely heard of or lived. As a fellow Diplomat writer once put it five long years ago, Maastricht syndrome is a term used to justify the lack of sexual interactions that students have within the city. She claims this fault is due to general university stress, deadlines, and student anxiety. While her position is captivating, we have to disagree with our fellow writer on the driving force behind this lag in dating. 

Our theory is tri-sided: 

1. As explained last week, the city is small, like REALLY small. Nobody wants to run into their one-night stand at the Vrijtof Albert Heijn. 

2. People talk. Not only do they talk, but in some way, shape, or form, everyone is connected. There is an underlying possibility that the ICL crush is your friend's cousin or, worse, literally anyone’s ex... ever. 

3. Last but not least, there are too many women or too few men. While for some this is an ideal situation, for straight women and gay men, this sets up a harsh dating field. 

A man who is a 6 in your average big city or even your hometown, becomes a HOT 10 in Maasi! 

Honestly, men just have it so easy because women are beautiful and most of the time perfect. Maastricht is essentially a productive ego-boosting factory for men that manufactures high quotas of douchebags each year. 

All this being said, please don’t let it discourage you; it’s always good to put yourself out there. Practice makes perfect! Just beware of the dangers in the wildness of Defile and listen to your friends when they tell you about that horrible and intertwined situationship they had a couple of months ago. So please enjoy with caution, and as our former Diplomat writer Natasha Simpson best put it, “buckle down, pull out the lube and get to work.”

Best, 

Celia and Ella